SANDMAN’S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC v THE GLANTON GANG…
“There is no finish line. When you reach one goal, find a new one.” – Chuck Norris (not dead; sleeping.)
Miguel Freckleton of St Mirren challenges for a header during the Scottish Premiership between Celtic and St. Mirren at Celtic Park on April 11, 2026. (Photo by WM Sport Media/Getty Images)
VINDALOO – 6/10 – As quiet as a Zombie at a ‘Shout if you’re not a redact’ contest. For all the opposition’s possession he remained confident, safe of hands, and loudly in communication with his backline.
Jonah Ayunga of St Mirren battles with Anthony Ralston of Celtic during the William Hill Premiership between Celtic and St. Mirren at Celtic Park on April 11, 2026. (Photo by WM Sport Media/Getty Images)
TONY THE TIGER – 6.5/10 – None shall pass. The Brickie dumfounds the online virgins once more with a classically committed 90 minutes. Remains the difference between those who understand the actual mental and physical demands of being a perennial part of title-winning Celtic squads, and those who think it’s all hypothesis. Tony is a manger’s dream – a Celtic fan who plays selflessly for the jersey when called upon, without demand, complaint or ego. Titles are won with the input and presence of players like him who are the psychological spine of the squad. ‘Journeymen’ whose contribution defies pretence and conceit. And if you can’t grasp his worth on days like yesterday when injuries dictate choices, then go do one, and that’s not meant politely.
Killian Phillips of St Mirren battles with Kieran Tierney of Celtic during the Scottish Premiership between Celtic and St. Mirren at Celtic Park on April 11, 2026. (Photo by WM Sport Media/Getty Images)
KATIE – 6.5/10 – Great powerhousing for the opening spell, bombing the wing, getting behind them and providing some service. You know he’s going to fade, but kudos for lasting the 90 and providing beneficial experience to hold the fort late on.
Liam Scales of Celtic challenges for a header during the Scottish Premiership between Celtic and St. Mirren at Celtic Park on April 11, 2026. (Photo by WM Sport Media/Getty Images)
OF JUSTICE – 6.5/10 – Days like today, with a gulp, you look to the defence as you realise the midfeld and frontline have powder-puffed it and the reliance is going to fall on a last line who will decide the fate of our ongoing participation in this title scrap. And marshalling them was the Ginger Baresi. Like Tony, a favourite victim of the gurning entitled. Why? Dear knows – the probability balance of his performance ratios to date has been overly positive; that equals consistency, kids – a tendency to over-perform and stay above mean reversion when more lapses could be reasonably expected. But Liam has built his Celtic career on excelling against expectation. From the moment he took the jersey by default. And then kept it because of days like these; when a precious victory can be navigated quietly and securely by precise and cautious defensive dilligence.
Auston Trusty of Celtic warms up ahead of kick off during the Scottish Premiership between Celtic and St. Mirren at Celtic Park on April 11, 2026. (Photo by WM Sport Media/Getty Images)
CRUSTY THE CLOWN – 6.5/10 – Like his cohort, put in a focussed and solid afternoon. Handled the physical threats they possess pretty well; won the most vital of contests that helped stifle their ambitions. Nice Pirlo tribute early on with the searching pass of the day.
I have to say ,I think your ratings of our individual players in yesterday’s game are really accurate, as far as I know . I agree with every single rating and it is refreshing to see someone else appreciate Ralston for how well he performs when called upon . In addition both Trusty & Scales form the best centre back pairing in the SPL,, & you also appreciate that
I love your comments and look forward to reading them with relish each week. However this week I think you must be on the communion wine. There was not one player who had pass marks. An absolutely abject performance. Perhaps you could give pass marks for passing the ball backwards. We have no ambition passing the ball forwards and it is evident that they are shit scared to make a mistake. It would have been no surprise had the Saints equalised. They will have no fear at Hampden on Sunday. One of the worst squads I have ever witnessed in my 60 years of watching Celtic. Who knows what the coaching staff are working on during the week. Answers on a postcard, please.