Sandman’s Definitive Festive Ratings – Celtic v Mutton Chops

THE TERMINATOR – 6/10 – Have to credit the kid’s input – shifted around today seeking the killer ball; never found it but we saw a more potent consistency of delivery. Thing is, he’s one who could benefit from big Paulo sitting in alongside him and Calmac…

CALMAC – 6.5/10 – Why was he forsaken? Paulo took some of the weight off his shoulders midweek, then has been banished once more to the dugout for… Reasons. At least he’s not evaporated like Reo. So Calmac bore with the detached dynamism of Arne while Negan roamed and the crowd bemoaned, and Luke kept popping up to jump-scare before getting lost again. It meant Calmac didn’t really have the total dominant control of the middle save for a spell in the first half but crucially suffered against their ten when they focussed on him with heelan’ hobgoblin Shinnie and tried to pickpocket continually. Then the last laugh was had as he burst into the box, supporting, and teed-up the legendary third. Once more – protect the skipper, win the game.

HIGHLAND TOFFEE – 5.5/10 – Anguish written on his own Richard Jobson face transplant as he sabotaged his good moments with uncharacteristically sloppy poor ones. Luke knows he’s got to make more of an impact or it’ll
be bench-warming onesies from Santa.

NEGAN – 6.5/10 – Would you believe it? Just as we imagined he’d been sussed as a lightweight, the embattled Frenchman throws him back into the mix and he comes up trumps. You could kick him into a crocodile-infested pool and he’s coming out with a handbag and shoes. So despite the wandering and frustration and often bemusing choices, Negan still carries that charmed knack of scoring when you need it. It makes you think we need to keep him around as some sort of lucky mascot; like a less-skilful Ronald McDonald.

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