SANDMAN’S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC @ THE OVERLOOK HOTEL..

“When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.”
– Franklin D. Roosevelt

Kieran Tierney and Viljami Sinisalo of Celtic applaud the fans following their team’s draw in the Scottish Premiership match between theRangers and Celtic at Ibrox on March 01, 2026. (Photo by WM Sport Media/Getty Images)

VINDALOO – 7/10 – All the speculation wiped in one simple, “Kasper’s phished,” declaration by the boss and in comes the Stuttgart stalwart to face the ugliest vista of any goalkeeper in world football this weekend. What I like about Vinny is that he never seems fazed. He’s been here before, and it was good to see the Cool Hand Luke vibe is a character trait and not a mask. And if you want to take that analogy further, the midden stinks of boiled eggs (rotten) anyway so his method acting could be immersive. No fault for the goals, credit for remaining a calm, safe pair of hands, and legs, as it looked for a while like the hoops in front of him might melt like Easter eggs in Dante’s Inferno. The jersey will ultimately be his, deservedly.

Kieran Tierney celebrates after scoring at Ibrox.theRangers v Celtic. 1st March 2026. Photograph by Vagelis Georgariou

KATIE – 7/10 – A marvel of biotech engineering. ‘Biscuit hips’ as the Zombies like to call him, took the biscuit by powering a terrific header past their spawny spider monkey in nets to haul us back into contention. Remained a driving force until his Tesla battery ran down.

Julian Araujo holds the Celtic badge at Ibrox. theRangers 2 Celtic 2. Sunday 1st March 2026. Photograph by Vagelis Georgariou

AZTECO – 7.5/10 MOTM – The ONE outfield player right at it for the 90. and by that, I mean right at everything – every Zombie in the big Victorian lavvy, the officials, the ballboys…Eager for a scrap and revelling in the cauldron of hate; massive comment on this Bhoy’s mindset that even when we were at our worst he was the singularity striving to cause some sort of impact. Marvellous gamesmanship and bollocks to draw the Zombies” attention at the penalty by posing as the taker; made a mug of their wee Amish rapper, inviting anything in blue to have a go. I’d sign him in a blink but I doubt we can compete with his English premiership pay packet.

Liam Scales at Ibrox. theRangers 2 Celtic 2. Sunday 1st March 2026. Photograph by Vagelis Georgariou

OF JUSTICE – 6/10 – He got it together… Eventually. And thank the Almighty that it was just in time to stop us being overrun. Much like Trusty on Thursday, Liam had one eye on the ball, one on the mobile frontline, and one on the youthful bombscare at his side. And that’s really only a feat Jamesy can usually accomplish…So it turned out for the opening half, as we played with no midfield presence and Liam spent a frantic 45 chasing shadows and making so many futile attempts to organise an under-siege backline that his lineage was checked at half-time to see if there was any ancestor on his family tree labelled, ‘Titanic deckchair attendant’. But that second-half brought out the Ginger Baresi again for a decent resistance, defending deep crosses particularly well.

Dane Murray of Celtic heads the ball while under pressure from Emmanuel Fernandez of theRangers during the ScottishPremiership match between theRangers and Celtic at Ibrox on March 01, 2026. (Photo by WM Sport Media/Getty Images)

GREAT – 4/10 – Oh, dear. Said on Thursday the plan for young Dane was simplicity. I didn’t mean village-idiot simple. For all his admirable no-nonsense qualities, including good psychological strength to handle intense atmospheres, he has a terrible habitual lapse in him. We’ve seen it before, I’ve commented on it before; it’s becoming the prime foible of his performances. His latest howler was a disaster. It could have led to a total collapse. His focus needs to be 100% and, as yet, he doesn’t have that mastered. Hopefully he will before it becomes a defining flaw in his game, because it’ll curtail his participation at top-level if he can’t phase such errors out.

Sandman’s Definitive Ratings continue on the next page…

Callum McGregor at Ibrox. theRangers 2 Celtic 2. Sunday 1st March 2026. Photograph by Vagelis Georgariou

CALMAC – 6.5/10 – Haters gonna hate, but let me tell you definitively – that was some magnificent toil the skipper put in today. Abandoned alone in the middle like a one-legged ginger  stepchild, booked by an eager MIB, grimly pinging passes to nobody and being swamped by frenzied representatives of the Prince Andrew Booster Club, his opening 45 was Hell on Earth. But he’s a footballer. And once he had another footballer – with some legs and composure – tucked in beside him after the break, he – and we – began to motor. Zombies were shrugged off and passed around, Mordor green spaces opened up among the misty bedlam and the captain took control. He’s probably a bit upset we didn’t win in the end; he knew he had them pinned and struggling to find anything but a long-ball outlet.

Alex Oxlade Chamberlain at Ibrox. theRangers 2 Celtic 2. Sunday 1st March 2026. Photograph by Vagelis Georgariou

NEVILLE – 3/10 – The Ox just doesn’t have the legs yet for this manic event. Although, nearing the break he displayed some nice footwork and maybe felt he was getting a handle on things. Was surprised he never showed for the second period, but have no qualms if he starts next Sunday; got the class to adjust quickly.

Benjamin Nygren at Ibrox. theRangers 2 Celtic 2. Sunday 1st March 2026. Photograph by Vagelis Georgariou

NYLON – 6/10 – Well, it’s…Well…Jeez, what an enigma. AWOL from kick-off, he begins to pop up in killer spaces around the hour mark, causing a lot of problems and teeing up our first with a deft clipped cross from a tight spot. Beautiful vision and execution. From an anonymous passenger, to sort of sweetest rack on the aircrew. Much like that metaphor, the Bhoy’s a proper conundrum.

Sandman’s Definitive Ratings continue on the next page…

Daizen Maeda at Ibrox. theRangers 2 Celtic 2. Sunday 1st March 2026. Photograph by Vagelis Georgariou

LORD KATSUMOTO – 6/10 – Talking of conundrums… Here’s a Japanese puzzle. A living Himistu-Bako, which is a box with intricate mechanisms you need to spring to open it; and the intricacy of what makes Daizen tick is known to very few. From scarcely-involved toiling winger to dynamic and tortuous centre-forward dragging lumbering Zombie oxen everywhere and anywhere they had the energy to gallop after him, wearing them out and shifting them around in the box so smartly that it created two goals and a point-blank save. Never write a man of Maeda’s character off.

Junior Adamu at Ibrox. theRangers 2 Celtic 2. Sunday 1st March 2026. Photograph by Vagelis Georgariou

YOUNG ADAMSKI – 3/10 – Nope. Bludgeoned a bit, hustled and clamped. Not the right fit for a first-half of atrocious Celtic play. But not much blame can be apportioned to him for a collective toil.

Yang at Ibrox. theRangers 2 Celtic 2. Sunday 1st March 2026. Photograph by Vagelis Georgariou

YING – 4/10 – Busy, just as he was Thursday, but less effective because he found himself chasing a lot of slaver-empire blue shirts to the detriment of his own attacking prowess; too knackered to make an impact when we were in the ascendancy.

Sandman’s Definitive Ratings continue on the next page…

SUBS –

Reo Hatate scores at Ibrox. theRangers 2 Celtic 2. Sunday 1st March 2026. Photograph by Vagelis Georgariou

HAKUNA HATATE – 7/10 – I noted Thursday – Reo looked far more interested. I didn’t expect quite the engagement levels of today’s heroic rescue mission but thank Raijin – the Japanese God of thunder and lightning – for making Reo the one who caused the Zombies to once again be Raijin’… I’m here all week. He simply played football and sat in a pocket between lines that gave Calmac a foil and had his long-ball opponents wondering what all this incisive passing was about. Once again, I’ll say that this Reo is the title-winning, footballing, enthusiastic Reo we need. just keep him well away from penalties, please…

Sebastian Tounekti of Celtic celebrates his team’s second goal scored by teammate Reo Hatate (not pictured) during the Scottish Premiership match between Rangers and Celtic at Ibrox on March 01, 2026. (Photo by WM Sport Media/Getty Images)

TUTANKHAMUN – 6/10 – Another fine benchwarmer input as TMJ looked excited to be there and relishing toasting some Zombies down his wing. Gave them a lot of problems. Will deserve a start.

James Forrest at Ibrox. theRangers 2 Celtic 2. Sunday 1st March 2026. Photograph by Vagelis Georgariou

JAMESY – 6.5/10 – ‘Get it in there, Jamesy!’ Aw, hell, he’s pulled out again…No! He fakes it, then slips one past, glides towards the byline and pulls off the cutback cross of the game for Daizen’s header to be denied by a cheating Zombie hand, bringing about the penalty. A match-saving, ‘skelping, magical bit of veteran wingplay.

Marcelo Saracchi and James Forrest at Ibrox. theRangers 2 Celtic 2.
Sunday 1st March 2026. Photograph by Vagelis Georgariou

SCRATCHY – N/A – The madman we required in the situation as KT faded.

Luke McCowan reacts after missing a great chance. theRangers v Celtic. 1st March 2026. Photograph by Vagelis Georgariou

HIGHLAND TOFFEE – N/A – Lukeout! So, so close to being a goalscoring hero again but failed to catch right, or lift, his golden opportunity.

Sandman’s Definitive Ratings continue on the next page…

Martin O’Neill at Ibrox. theRangers 2 Celtic 2. Sunday 1st March 2026. Photograph by Vagelis Georgariou

FATHER MARTIN AND SAMWISE GANGEE – 6.5/10 – Many Happy Returns. Try not to have a heart attack managing this lot. That starting eleven – quibbles were given no more than 45 minutes to evolve into scathing critique, before being eradicated by a double-switch at half-time and a re-organisation that staged one of the more memorable comebacks of his career.

With SOM delivering the details like a miniature Rainman, the Hoops were sent out to think again and slap the Zombies back into reality. What the boss does now with the psychological profit from such a risky but winning bit of leverage will define our chances in the title race.

Sandman’s Definitive Ratings continue on the next page…

VAR Checking Possible Penalty on the screens at Ibrox. theRangers 2 Celtic 2.
Sunday 1st March 2026. Photograph by Vagelis Georgariou

MIBBERY – 5/10 – A moment’s silence for Johhny B and Steven with a ‘V’… It was all going so well. Hoops getting rinsed, club captain on a yellow, MON’s birthday celebrations being perverted in the stands. Then came the impudence. The Celtic Rising. The sheer brass neck to stage a comeback and attempt to ruin a perfectly staunch Sunday lunchtime. But, don’t fret, they’ve not enough time left and we’ll make sure that’s…

Referee John Beaton warms up prior to the Scottish Premiership match between Rangers and Celtic at Ibrox on March 01, 2026. (Photo by WM Sport Media/Getty Images)

Oh. Oh flip. “It’s a fist, Johnny, a fist, and it’s no’ the kind o’ fisting ye like on a Saturday night…”

The voice of VAR sinking Zombie hearts like a cold iceberg drifting through the furious, seething airwaves of the beseeching Hate Factory, on course to crunch into their listing dreadnought. All prayers to Baal were lost in the ether as the world saw the indisputable TV footage. And with that, a little bit of their black hearts died. Hopefully forever.

Har-de-har.

Sandman’s Definitive Ratings continue on the next page…

Martin O’Neill applauds the Celtic support. theRangers v Celtic. 1st March 2026. Photograph by Vagelis Georgariou

OVERALL – 6/10 – From pathetic to apoplectic to ecstatic. A comeback for the ages in what may transpire as a title win for the ages should the Bhoys overtake Motherwell at the season’s end. Yes, Motherwell… They’re the real danger. Bookmark that. What dreadful brilliance we witnessed today as Celtic pulled off ANOTHER rope-a-dope in a long season of knife-edge contests, to marvellously shatter the Orcs’ delusions of supremacy and remind them what COWARDS their players really are when the heat gets turned up on them and they realise these Hoops don’t lie down for dead dogs.

Martin O’Neill at Ibrox. theRangers v Celtic. 1st March 2026. Photograph by Vagelis Georgariou

TEN games to go and we require to put together TWENTY halves like today’s second and January’s first against those reprobates. The saving grace of this rollercoaster ride is the knowledge that we’re capable of surviving a derailment and hanging on for the ride however rough it gets. Today’s draw is one of the best results we’ll achieve all season for our squad of players – better psychologically even, than that Stuttgart win – given the circumstances and the rhetoric around the match.

Daizen Maeda forces the penalty at Ibrox. theRangers 2 Celtic 2. Sunday 1st March 2026. Photograph by Vagelis Georgariou

Coping with waves of the dark energy of unhealthy arousal spewed from their stands by the baying hordes of deformed, drooling pagan mutants proved a right of passage for many of our players, used in recent times to the inconsequential nature of late-season games aganst them. Now they understand what a title scrap is and how to stay in one like a prizefighter on the ropes. They need to take that into the final phase of a testing campaign and prove to themselves they can reach the required levels for every minute of the torrid matches left.

Celtic players applaud the Celtic support at Ibrox. theRangers 2 Celtic 2. Sunday 1st March 2026. Photograph by Vagelis Georgariou

And so to the beating of the bleating Sheep…

Go Away Now

Sandman

Celtic in the Thirties by Matt Corr. Click on image to order

More Stories / Latest News
Spirit of ’86 looms over Hearts Scottish Premiership title hopes
Three teams, one title, no clue to who wins Scottish Premiership
28th April – Five Memorable Celtic Moments on This Day