Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – Salem’s Lot v Celtic

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Martin O'Neill and John McGlynn shake hands at the final whistle.

Martin O’Neill and John McGlynn shake hands at the final whistle. Falkirk v Celtic, Scottish Premiership, Falkirk Stadium, 14 January 2026. Photo Vagelis Georgariou

FATHER MARTIN AND SAMWISE GANGEE – 7.5/10 – Hard night at the office, fellas? A teeth-grinding exercise for MON and SOM. No feet up cruise tonight, with both tag-teaming the team from the tight sidelines, demanding, encouraging, strategising as much as they could given the traitorous park and it’s deceptive polyurethane lushness.

They’ll be delighted with the outcome if not the Wacky Races methods of obtaining it. Major kudos for keeping the players’ believing, as nothing seemed to run for us and Falkirk used their local knowledge to pin us back (aside from the regular local practice of pinning you down and letting lumbering village giant Humphrey practice ‘jiggy-jiggy’). So it becomes 2-for-2 ,in Yankee sportsfan parlance, for the returning saviours and the season does indeed remain saveable.

Substitute referee Sean Murdoch during the second half

Substitute referee Sean Murdoch during the second half. Falkirk v Celtic, Scottish Premiership, Falkirk Stadium, 14 January 2026. Photo Vagelis Georgariou

MIBBERY – 6/10 – Flaming hell, they threw a curveball at us. So distraught was Johnny B at half-time by Negan’s sneaky opener that he couldn’t continue and named his Ludge apprentice to take charge of the second half and cause as much disruption as he could. Was a nice try, denying us obvious calls, booking a bloodied KT for ‘historical crimes against the Zombies’ and affording Falkirk a tea-break every time the ball went close to one of their Picasso-esque faces. A nice try indeed. But no cigar. Har-de-har.

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About Author

The Celtic Star founder and editor David Faulds has edited numerous Celtic books over the past decade or so including several from Lisbon Lions, Willie Wallace, Tommy Gemmell and Jim Craig. Earliest Celtic memories include a win over East Fife at Celtic Park and the 4-1 League Cup loss to Partick Thistle as a 6 year old. Best game? Easy 4-2, 1979 when Ten Men Won the League. Email [email protected]

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  1. I disagree with all your appraisals with the exception of :- Schmeical and Scales . It’s a sad fact that a team like Celtic are second best in every department , to Falkirk .
    Falkirk , under the tutorage of John McLynne have better , fitter , more skillful players than a club like Celtic . The only difference is that the Falkirk players are paid a fraction of what our ” Duds” are paid .
    The Falkirk players were first to every ball and at times you would have thought it was :- Manchester City or Barcelona v’s Celtic . This is how far we have regressed in the last few years ; so the BOARD and BR. should be held to account for Celtic’s monumental decline . We need serious changes at board level and throughout the whole club when Martin O’Neil leaves . What has happened when we have an Academy which hasn’t produced a decent player in years ? What is going on ; when , so called Professional players , cannot beat opponents ,cannot shoot, cannot play a final ball , cannot score penalties nor score from free-kicks ? Our club , despite its wealth is run like an amateur out-fit . Can nobody , at the club see that :- McGregor , Teirney and Hetate are past their sell-buy date ; Engals is over-rated and a waste of money ; Neigren (despite his goals) ; McCowan , Yang and Kenny are simply not ” Celtic Class “. It pains me to critiise Celtic players but the reset button needs to be pressed . Martin O’Neill will be a miracle worker if he manages to win anything with these players .I hope , I am very , very wrong .