Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – Lesser Hades v Celtic

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Referee Steven McLean shows Auston Trusty a red card after a VAR review. Hearts v Celtic, 25 January 2025. Photo Vagelis Georgariou.

Referee Steven McLean shows Auston Trusty a red card after a VAR review. Hearts v Celtic, 25 January 2025. Photo Vagelis Georgariou.

MIBBERY – 8.5/10 – Steven “It’s Steven with a ‘V’! Steven with a ‘V’!” McLean, subservient Zombie acolyte, and Johnny blues Beaton, dyed-in-the-wool season-ticketed blue-nose-shot-caller… And the other sinister shadows lurking behind them…Of course. Subversion of the actual rules? When the Celts are vulnerable…Of course.

Because the Hearts boy’s Da’ was Usain Bolt and the goalmouth is actually in the direction of the corner flag and the two covering hooped players were dragging the half-eaten corpse of a dead mule the home end had thrown onto the pitch after half-time snacks were done…Under those circumstances in THAT reality, he was ‘denied a clear goalscoring opportunity’. In a word, flaming rats. In another word, unsurprising.

When our new signing was penalised after 18 seconds for daring to contest a high ball, I wondered. Hearts being awarded three hundred and thirty eight free kicks in dangerous positions during the course of the game had me nodding sagely, and the call to the monitor after the obvious-yellow-card-but-nothing-more offence had the crossbow out and a new pub telly ordered.

Six bookings and a red, including captain, keeper and the new bhoy: that’s the stuff of MIB Only Fans’ accounts, the sort of licentious content Zombies will willingly give up their passport ID to access. Yet, they failed. Again. Celtic throats bared, the finishing touch escaped them. Big Ones and wee Ones ahead of us, but it’ll be short-term comfort for the night-cloaked vermin at the helm.

Nae luck, Zombies.

Continues on the next page…

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About Author

The Celtic Star founder and editor David Faulds has edited numerous Celtic books over the past decade or so including several from Lisbon Lions, Willie Wallace, Tommy Gemmell and Jim Craig. Earliest Celtic memories include a win over East Fife at Celtic Park and the 4-1 League Cup loss to Partick Thistle as a 6 year old. Best game? Easy 4-2, 1979 when Ten Men Won the League. Email [email protected]

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2 Comments

  1. If Celtic manage to win the league it will be with the weakest title winning squad in my memory.
    As an adult I have been a supporter for 60+years.
    Cal Mac is no longer able to dictate midfield and has no support.
    MON and coaching staff working wonders with what they have.
    As for the match officials it has been ever thus.
    Hail Hail.

  2. Similar to you JOHNG —I have been actively supporting Celtic for 71 years . A poor team and the decline could be seen coming for the last two seasons under BR . Journeyman players , brought-in just to keep ahead of the Ibrox Ploughboys and it has backfired on the whole club . This policy was further exasperated by the engagement of :- Paul Tisdale and Wilfreid Nancy—–Where the F##K did they get those two ????
    No left-back to cover when TIERNEY went off at Tynecastle——What the F##K is going on with the B- team & Academy players ? Surely a club of Celtic’s stature should have ” Oven ready ” young players ready to step into the First-team squad , when required . Top English teams do this so why not Celtic ? Or are the Board mis-managing our ” Half-time Draw ” ticket money also ? The present Board are running around with there heads in buckets , thinking they are performing ” World -Class in everything they do ” ?
    They are a crowd of amateurs in Celtic blazers who fail to realise that even despite Celtic’s vast resources ; we now have a team which is no better than most of the lesser clubs in the SPL . A Board who , try to save money by investing in “Bargain Basement” players who are surplus to requirements by other clubs , or are , ” past their SELL-BY date . The Celtic support do not deserve this and they should not suffer these clowns any longer . They bring in Martin O’Neil as a BUFFER to save their backs just as the British Crown established the Orange Order to save their backs in Northern Ireland .
    We are now in the Twenty-first century and the vast majority of the Celtic support are wise to your , “Cheap-skate” tricks—Your days are numbered ; just like some of your players like : – Like Tierney , McGregor , Hetate , Maeda , Yang , Engels , McCowan ,Forest ; to name but a few —-Some have been great servants to Celtic and some have failed to produce but no organisation can progress whist carrying ” Lame Ducks ” . There is no sentiment in business ; the time for change is at hand and as Jock Stein stated , ” The Celtic jersey does not shrink to fit inferior players ” .