Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – Flippinheck v Celtic

OVERALL – 6/10 – Auchinleck, Ayrshire, a hole known worldwide since 1970 after Deliverance director John Boorman visited on a location-scouting and casting trip and left quickly, declaring in a telegram back to Hollywood: ‘Aesthetically gruesome beyond my imaginings. Will never achieve less than ‘XXX’ certification
if filming takes place there.’

Mercifully we were spared John’s horror. Deemed too pretty to expose the locals to, Celtic were re-directed to another midden – Rugger Park in the equally grim North Ayrshire Chernobyl twin-town of ‘Killie’. Or ‘Murderville’.

So we took on the evolutionally-challenged like men and, to be frank, got through a tedious mismatch with minimal fuss. It panned out like a training session of attack-v-defence for the most part, and credit to the organised Auchinleck rearguard for some sterling work that eclipsed many an SPL backline’s efforts.

My cup-romance sympathies end there, of course, and never really started since the good Zombies of Talbot unfurled Butcher’s Aprons before kick-off, declaring how much they treasured being part of Little England…

So, a low hurdle of sorts cleared without injury or upset and two major ones looming. Let’s shake off the ennui and get fired up with the energy – there’s season-defining contests ahoy!

Go Away Now

Sandman

13 days left of this tranfer market and a cool £20m profit from the last 2 windows and still not even a sniff of a replacement for Kyogo sold 356 days ago.

We’re not just throwing the legaue away, we’re setting ourselves up to finish 3rd @CelticFC and nobodys even surprised. pic.twitter.com/vnIradAAqj

— The Clover (@TheClover_67) January 18, 2026

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