Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – Celtic v Screamin’ Weans

SANDMAN’S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC v SCREAMIN’ WEANS…

“The reward for work well done is the opportunity to do more.” – Jonas Salk

VINDALOO – 6.5/10 – With Kasper dropped in case he chucked one in for his  old team, it was the Vinny show. And didn’t he show well…Flying Fin makes flying save to keep us ahead and remains  a commanding voice at the back which belies his experience. Won’t need a goalie for a while with those two swapping the  shifts.

WAYNE GRETZKY – 7/10 – Not quite got the same synch with Jamesy yet as he enjoyed with the runaway German, but it’s hard to play wingman to the country’s top performer. And what with AJ being a recently married man he no doubt has the wife’s nagging voice in his ear every time he gets within ten yards of the Prestwick Flasher. However, existential crises aside, The Moose was not to be denied, forcing himself into a one-on-one with their keeper and wowed us with adroit finishing courtesy of his unnatural cloven hoof. An all-round rousing cup-tie performance.

🍀 @CelticFC‘s Dane Murray and Alistair Johnston react after scoring in tonight’s win against Falkirk

“Whenever I can help out and chip in with some goals, it always makes a difference. It’s especially nice scoring against Scott Bain!” 🗣️#PremierSportsCup pic.twitter.com/sKwiOvlL1I

— Premier Sports (@PremSportsTV) August 15, 2025

KATIE – 7/10 – Barnstorming first 45 marked by more uplifting wing-play, a smart cushioned assist, and a terrific Norman Wisdom tribute to entertain the North Curve, managing to execute a perfect pratfall while yelling “Mr.Grimsdale!” in a busy penalty area. Our bhoy’s back with a bang.

CRUSTY THE CLOWN – 6/10 – A wantaway? Would we be overly dismayed? Not quite yet proven himself domestically, but started with a good early block tonight and cruised through the rest of proceedings. Whether or not he and The Brodge will be on the same wavelength come the end of the transfer window is anyone’s guess.

Continues on the next page…