Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – Celtic v Bastien’s Munchies

THE NOTAPRODDYGAL – 8.5/10 – He nearly did it. And he did, did it… We got the Daizen dagger to their heart with the madman thrust into the Centre forward role. Greggs got sin-binned and big Jeff thrown in to combat the muscly Munchens. Two sprightly, exciting wingers melted the ice as BR threw caution to the bitter teutonic winds and tried to Brodge the Bayerns. The approach was all positive in contrast to last week’s hour of caution. And he so nearly had the Gucci CL wrestling belt for pinning down one of the favourites. Just couldn’t quite get the count in before backstabbing destiny drove the Celtic Euro tour bus off a bloody cliff once more.

MIBBERY – 7/10 – Flaming Robert Lewandowski calling the shots again. And the niggling Bayern bias of fawning officialdom edged out our Bhoys at the last. He held that whistle in poise as Daizen dropped and a more balanced umpire might have halted play for a head-knock check or even foul. But this crew? Nah, not even the ultra-finickity VAR that’s canned Daizen for nothing fouls amounting to more than nascent campness, could muster the balls to deny Bayern that last-ditch strike. Fox hunts..

OVERALL – 9/10 – No pain no gain. Basically, a Jamesy Bavarian adventure played out before our very disbelieving eyes – rode them all the way in Munich, until thrown off right at the vinegar strokes…The anguish is always somehow worse when you’ve reached for the golden idol, got a touch, and are planning your escape with glorious swag before being cruelly huckled, rather than a straightforward kick in the nuts and told to beat it; ergo, Dortmund.

Everything went so well – defensively, offensively, and on a basic footballing level we were an excellent match for their systematic efficiency; managing some thrilling combinations and inventiveness of our own. Such a great performance. One that alters the Celtic DNA: They’ll rue the agonising outcome, the players, but they’ll have precious affirmation of their own validity at this heightened level of competition.

That’s something they were bereft of after being taken apart by Dortmund, but have rebuilt piece by piece over the course of the competition. Something, too, that the manager must have had at the back of his mind; that failure to impact in the football stratosphere; in fact, to have burned up badly time and time again. Well, that’s different now – tonight and in Atalanta foundations were laid. Look at Brugge, whom we were derided for failing to beat. Told ye then that they were a proper unit; organised, focussed, drilled – shows you what a good collective can achieve. We took it to the last kick and lost out to a block tackle that was bundled into the net; fine margins
indeed.

Up to these battling Bhoys to stick together now, and keep it together and go light it up in the Champions League next season with that belief a rampant wildfire fire in their bellies. So close, no cigar. But what a fabulous ride – as the actress said to the winger…

Well done, Bhoys.

Go Away Now

Sandman

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